Think about it, damn it!!!

I have noticed a trend...
Everytime I meet a person in Egypt that is a little bit different, that thinks about things a bit more than normal. That does not just take information in and spew it out later in conversation. The kind of person that filters what goes in, thinks about it, refines it, possibly discards it if it makes no sense..
I always assume that these people are not Egyptian. Or at least that these people have not been brought up in Egypt.
I feel that anyone who thinks or is logical cannot be a product of education and life in Egypt.
This is a sad realization.. and I do not know how to change it....
I wish I felt that Egyptians spent more time thinking instead of spewing!
I wish that thoughts and conversation were logical...
I wish that people would stop blindly quoting people and things...
I wish people would just think and analyze things before they spoke!!

The "Wagab" Scale !

In life there are things that we have to do. Things, that you will not do unless you feel pressure or force...Here, in Egypt, we call these things "wagab".Many things fall into the "wagab" category. Things like; attending funerals, visiting people in the hospital, having lunch with some members of your family, etc, etc...
All the things that you should do.. but you do not particularily enjoy doing.
I hate this wagab concept. I hate doing something that I do not want to. I hate feeling that I am being controlled by something or someone. So, I spend a lot of time trying to figure out ways of getting out of the less important "wagab"...
Now, I am not a bitch. I will visit people in the hospital. I will happily do it because I feel that maybe somehow I will make that person feel better. that I might be able to make this perrson laugh or something and therefore make it a bit better.. I do not think that I am forced to be there.
There are things like having lunch with my family that I am forced to do. I get annoyed with my cousins, I never enjoy it because I am pressured to be there, I am always attacked for thinking differently.. and when I go there it is impossible to leave. These are the "wagab" that I plan and scheme of getting out of. I have found a way that works.
So.. I will share my finding with you.
I noticed that the things that are considered "wagab" are varied in importance. Attending funereals are very important. Visiting the sick in a hospital is also very important, almost directly following the funeral attendance. Visiting a sick person at home would follow that. Family events follow far behind that. Visitng people after their wedding or honeymoon follows somewhere near there.
So, you can put them on a scale.
You check your sccale and see where the "wagab" that you must perform is located. Now, the only way to get out of doing this wagab is by having another "wagab" event which ranks higher on the scale than the one you are performing.
So, let's say I am invited to a family lunch today. I see it ranks midway on my "wagab" scale. I just choose anything ranking higher. I call my uncle and tell him that I might not be able to make lunch because I have to visit a friend in the hospital.
And I am out of it.. and there are no hard feelings. Now, to get out of feeling that you are lying.. you can pass by a hospital, maybe go in and buy Panadol from the pharmacy inside and you have just visited a hospital! ;o)
You have just cheated the system, the "wagab" system!

The water is back!

Water is back to the inhabitants of Maadi.
I feel bad for them. the whole community was without water for 2 days.
No water was running anywhere...
No showers, no cooking, no cleaning, no flushing toilets... in Maadi.
I cannot believe that that happened.
I was thinking about how that would have been a national disaster in the United States. The national guard would have been in there with water..
Sometimes I am surprised at how much the Egyptian population has to endure. Surprised about how after dealing with all this shit.. they still like to laugh, they still try to enjoy life...
I am sad for them and happy because of them....

My mission to the bank....

Today I had to leave work early and go figure out what is wrong with the bank. My work forced us to get accounts at one of the most ghetto banks in Egypt. Even the bank logo is wrong!! It seriously looks like a man being held up...


So, this bank has very few branches in Egypt. The ATM machines are few and when you find one it is most likely out of order. In the off chance that it is working it never has cash in it. Now.. I thought that was the end of the problems with this bank.. but no.... I tried to withdraw money from my account and it was not working. Somehow the ATM card is not working...

I go into one of the offices and they spend about 10 minutes trying to solve a problem I do not have. Next, they spend about 15 minutes trying to find my account number. They are telling me that there is no account with my name.. eventhough I am showing him my ATM from the bank with my name on it. After they find the account and I try to withdraw my money we have another problem. They spend 45 minutes trying to solve the problem..

THe problem was the fact that I did not sign my full name on the withdrawal slip. I signed my first name only. So, when I ask what is wrong they tell me that it is not my signiture. .. So I resign the paper this time I sign my last name also.

The part that pisses me off is that my signature is actually my first name only... the bank forced me to sign my last name. Well, the guy at my work who made me get this account....

So, 30 minutes pass and I ask what the problem is.. he tells me once again that this is not my signature...

I have shown this man 1 passport, 2 drivers licenses, 1 ID card and 2 bank cards... most have my picture and signature on them... All that is nothing to prove my identity... He doubts that I am Nora because the "R" in my name looks different than the one they have...

Aghhhh!!!

I know that it is good to follow a system, but come on!!! The funny thing is that noone from the bank actually saw me sign the application for the account. There is no way for the bank to be positive that the signature they have is actually my real signature. They guy from wor that made us get the account could very well have been the one to sign the papers...

So, I have learned from this incident that it does not matter how many forms of governmental ID I have with me, all that matters is the "R" in my name...

Because you know I could have created all those fake documents.. but there is no way I could forge that "R"!!!

Governmental adventures....

I like adventures. I like doing random things. I like finding creative ways of solving problems. Where can I get all that and so much more?
At any governmental building in Egypt....
The summary of my most recent adventure....
I am probably the one crazy person who does not hate doing anything related to governmental paperwork. I am the crazy girl who willingly offers to help you get you shit done at the "ahwal al madanaya" or the "mogamma". I actually enjoy doing these things.
I am sure that I am somehow crazy.. but I think I also enjoy seeing how you can always get things done.
You can jump over any roadblock you face....
Yesterday, I woke up early, ran some errands and then picked my friend up to get her anything that says she is Egyptian.
She has a weird problem.. she cannot get a tourist visa because she is Egyptian, but at the same time she cannot gwet anything issued saying that she is an Egyptian. She needs her father's Egyptian birth certificate to prove that she is Egyptian, but they will not give her her father's Egyptian birth certificate because she has nothing with his name on it saying that he is her father.. except for her foreign Canadian birth certificate.. but for some reason that is not enough....
So, she is in a catch 22 from hell....
Our work has tried to solve this for her so that she is not here illegally and they failed...
I, of course, offer my assistance....
We run around at the "ahwal el madanaya" (civil affairs".. and they are useless.. they send us off to mogamma and tell us a million different things to do. We get to mogamma and we find out that everything we were told at the civil affairs place is wrong..
We sit in the office of the guy with the 3 stars and eagle (the important guy) and we waste time and he is trying to help us and trying to find her father's file.. after a while he says it is in some other archive place and it will come tomorrow...
He tells us to not waste time and to go to the Dokki police station... He says that there they will print out her father's birth certificate (even though they should not give it to her)...
So, we head for the police station... I will never be able to describe that experience fully. It was a small room filled with a million smelly people. They were all loud. They were all bitter. For some reason they did not like us... They yelled at us. They yelled at anyone who spoke to us nicely. They yelled at anyone who wanted to help us. I was scared. I wanted to cry.. So, I run to the man in front of the computer and I tell him I am scared and I do not want to stand in line.. and I asked him to print the paper we needed. And he did it!!! (Playing vulnerable works!!!) He said he needs to do it because we are foreigners and he needs "to take care of us". I am sure the people that were yelling probably would not have liked knowing that we got our shit done before them all!!! ;o)
Well, we dash back to the mogamma... we run into the 3 star and eagle man's office. We catch him before he leaves.. He starts playing Um Kalthoum for us.. and explaining the songs to me... and he gets some guy to write out a paper saying
"That her father is Egyptian. He has not denounced his citizenship and neither has she, and there is no problem for her name to be registered in the civil affairs registery"!!!
I will not comment on the fact that he has a copy of her father's birth certificate in the computer that he could have looked at and printed. I will not comment on how stupid the wording of the document was. I will not comment on the fact that every step of the paperwork has to be done at a different building. Iwill not comment on how every document needs at least 3 stamps and a signiture to be anything. I will not comment on how nobody knew what they were talking about and how they all wasted our time...
I am not sure what I will comment on...
Well, my friend is halfway to being officially Egyptian.
Next Saturday, ahwal al madanaya.. bright and early!!!!

Penises and potato peelers

I have come to realize that in Egypt you are born with either a penis or a potato peeler.

Oh how I envy those of you with penises... you have it all. You are of value. You are allowed to be ambitious. You are allowed to think. You know everything. You are trusted. You can speak your mind. You are not a whore for being out after midnight.

I was born without a penis.. but I must have lost my potato peeler.

My dilemma is that somewhere along the way I fucked up and crossed the boundaries. I have ambition. I speak my mind. I feel that I was created to be more than a uterus or a potato dicing machine. I know that I should achieve more in life than a couple of kids and dinner on the table.

Even though I don't have the potato peeler or the penis, I value myself.
I am more than a potential housewife.
I am more than a place for a man to sow his seed.

I do not have a penis but I want to be something in this world. I do not want the potato peeler either. I want to do more than just cook. I wish people would stop making me feel like I am crazy because I am living my life.
Why am I of little value in this society but a penis is so valuable? Why does my family and this society think that my life should wait until a penis, err groom, shows up to make me valuable?

Dear Egyptian Women,
You have so much more potential. Stop selling yourselves short. Your value is not linked to your ability to find a husband. You can do more than cook and clean. Dream, Strive, Live your lives, and Enjoy it all....

Obviously, I am a whore!?!?!

My Cinderella curfew has been reinstated, and with it comes the mad dash/drive home. I am always late.. and therefore always driving fast and somewhat recklessly (very recklessy according to my California driving manual).
So, today I was out and enjoying myself.. I decided to stay the few extra minutes and drive home a little faster.
I got in my car and turned the music up. I was singing and almost dancing as I was speeding my way home.
I know that guys in Egypt like girls who drive fast. I guess loud music and cigarettes does it for them also. As I drove home I had 2 cars following me. I try to just ignore these assholes when they do that.. but today they actually followed me to my house.. and parked their car behind me when I parked.
Luckily, I found the security guard in front of the building and asked him to deal with them because they were following me....
The guys did not like the fact that I ignored them and went in. So, like any respectable gentleman would do, they started calling me names. Basically I was a tease and some other things I am thankful that I did not understand.
Their theory is that I wanted them to follow me and that is why I was driving fast. They said I was "sha2aiya" and was trying to get their attention.
My theory is that they are freakin idiots! I think if I really wanted to get to know them I actually would have stopped and chatted. The fact that I was running away meant nothing. The fact that I was completely ignoring them meant that I was trying to get their attention!
The security guard was passive enough to give me the feeling that he agreed.
When I came up to bitch about this incident to my family they informed me that men in the street are justified for thinking that I am a whore and want them to follow me home because I was out after 12!!!!!!!!!
I am in shock because of the realization that my family is just as backward as a lot of the Egyptian population.
I am in shock because consensus is that I am a whore because I drive fast!
(A guy friend of mine explained that Egyptian men think that girls who drive fast learned how to drive that way because they spend a lot of time with guys which means they are whores)
So, I am just wondering if the problem is Egyptian guys or if all men are this fucking stupid?!?!?!
So.. congratulate me everybody... I drive fast, I listen to music, and OMIGOD I ignore men..

Obviously.....I am a whore!!

Egyptian cops are nice guys...

Today I was caught speeding.
The speed traps here are different from the states. We don't have the flashing lights in the rear view mirror. We don't get a ticket and have to go to court.
Here they have a guy/car whatever on the side of the road with the radar gun (I think it is called a radar gun.. whatever). He will check the speed of all the cars passing that point in the road. When a car is speeding he tells the other cops on the walkie talkie. These cops are a little bit down the road. They have the road blocked off and stop the cars as they pass. If you were not speeding you pass and if you were speeding they take away your drivers license. You get a slip of paper saying that your license was taken away. I think you can drive with this slip for like a week or two. You have to go to some police station/traffic police thing and pay your fine and get your license back. It is a big hassle...
Anyway, today I was on my way to meet a friend and I was speeding. The speed limit was 90 kmh (I think about 55 or 56 mph) and I was driving at 140 kmh (I think about 86 or 87 mph).
Yes, that is a huge freaking difference.
So, what happened? I talked my way out of it.. and I did not need to use cleavage or other "weapons"!
The police officer was older and I guess I am lucky that I have that old guy magnet thing...
I was just talking to the guy and giving my usual sarcastic stupid comments and he laughed... and he told me that he will not take my license so that I will know that cops in Egypt are nice guys...
I am not sure how I feel about that. I hate the system. I hate that you can get away with things like that. I am happy that I do not have to deal with the hassle of getting my license back...
I kinda wish that he did take my license away because I would have felt like something is happening the way it should... like there is a real system in place in some aspect of life in Egypt.