Dual-National

A friend of mine told me that I have changed. I am a different person than the person they knew a while ago.
This friend told me that I am a lot more American than I was before.. but at the same time I am a lot more Egyptian too.
I do not know how that can be, but I think it is true.
The American and Egyptian parts of me are equal. There is no major part nor minor part.
They are equal.. but they are not only half of me. They are me and I am them. At the same time, I am not them, I am different.
Somehow my whole is more than 100%

This makes no sense, but somehow it does make sense to me.
I guess this is the irony of being a dual-national. You belong to both, you love both, you are both.... and at the same time you are neither.

Why?

Today on my way home the man driving the car next to me was completely oblivious to the world. He was in his own little world. He was comfortable.
He had his whole finger up his nose and he was excavating!
It was disgusting. It was disturbing!!
Why do people do that?

Why do people pick their noses while they drive?
Why do men pee on the streets? And why do they pick the busiest streets?

Another freak on the streets....

It happened again...
I am getting sick of the men in this country.A man followed me home. He followed me from Maadi to Heliopolis. He kept bringing his car next to mine to try to talk to me. I kept ignoring him. I know I should not have gone home. I know I should have tried to "lose" him. I know I should have gone back to the "amazing guy" and let him protect me... but I was sick. I could not even drive. I was hoping to make it home before I felt worse. I thought the man following me would get bored. I was wrong. He followed me home.
I parked in front of my building and go tout of my car. I don't know where he parked, but I know he was in front of my building as I got there. My building was dark. There was no one around.
The man asked me to talk to him. I acted like I didn't hear. My building was very dark. The doorman and security guards were no where to be found.
I have a dark building in front of me and a scary man behind me. I am scared. I do not know what to do.
We rented out the whole building except our apartment to a company. That means that at 10pm there is no one in that building but me. I am scared to go inside my deserted building because I am scared he will follow me.
The man calls out to me again. I ignore him once again.
He grabs my arm to get my attention. I am paralyzed. I scream for my doorman. Nothing! I yell at the man. I scream at him. I yell a lot. It was my fear talking, not me. I hve no idea what I said. I was paralyzed. I was petrified.
The security from another building came and the man ran. I was shaking. I started to cry. I started to walk into my building again. Each step was harder than the one before. Fear consumed me with each step I took into the darkness. Waiting for the elevator seemed like an eternity. Noises were amplified and they sent shivers down my spine.
I walk inside my apartment and for the first time in my life I lock the door behind me. I run to the bathroom and I start to cry. I hate feeling so scared. I hate being so weak.
I wash my face and compose myself. I need to be stronger than this. I am strnger than this.
I cannot let another freak on the streets of Cairo get to me. Last time this happened I wanted to run away. I do not want to run away!
I go to my room.. my phone is ringing. It is "the amazing guy". He was freaking out. I just wanted him to tell me that everything is ok. I just wanted him to comfort my fears. I needed him to tell me that normal men exist in this country. He could not do that.
He became biter with this country. He was in a shit mood because of this freak on the streets. I did not even tell him the whole story...
He hung up....
I was alone!