This post is just a response to a comment on my last post.
Cairogal asked me 3 questions. These questions are not as easy to answer as they should be. The answers to the questions are just a small glance into the myriad reasons I am so confused.
Nora, I hope you don't mind my asking: Did you spend most of your childhood in the US or Egypt? How did your parents reconcile western traditions (like dating) w/ Egyptian traditions? How did it affect your religious devotion having parent from the west, and presumably from a Christian upbringing?
I grew up in the states. I only came 2 times. I came for about 2 months when I was 4 years old, and again for 6 months when I was 8. When I was 17 I moved here and since then I have been living between the two countries.
My parents got divorced when I was 9. After the divorce each parent lived according to their culture and religion. I was somewhere in the middle. I was learning Quran and going to Bible study. I think each parent wanted to educate us about their religion. Each parent wanted us to follow their religion.
It was confusing, and as a result I am confused to this day. I do not know enough about either religion.
I feel comfortable inside myself towards Islam, and that is why I chose that religion. I do not know much though.. and that scares me. I am scared to try to learn more.. because I do not know what the valid sources are and I do not understand the Quran. So, I try to read the books I feel comfortable with. I refuse to let anyone talk to me about religion though. People confuse me, and they really try to force their opinion on me.
About the traditions, I lived with my mom after my parents were divorced. I moved out when I was 17 and came here. My whole life I was a lot more American than Egyptian. I actually knew nothing about Egypt. I knew nothing about this half of my family. I did not even know my dad very well.
So, I guess since my parents were divorced we were living both cultures and somehow religions... and when we got older we decided on what we felt was right and went with it.
In my life the American/Catholic influence was much larger while I was growing up.
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8 comments:
I think that religious confusion you speak of is something that many Egpytians fear when their family members marry someone from another culture/religion.
So what took you back to Egypt at 17? How do you 'fit in' with your Egyptian family? Rather, do you relate well to one another?
Thanks for sharing, Nora. I think your experience is quite unique to the average Egyptian woman's. Keep writing about it! :-)
I am sure that the religious confusion is something people always fear..
I think it can be avoided easily though. I think my dad did not put forth enough effort to introduce Islam to us and let us feel comfortable. He had a very dry method with everything and barely had time to answer our questions.
I came to Egypt when I was 17 because my father wanted us to learn a bit more about Egyptian culture and Arabic. I saw it as a chance to see the world. Somewhere over the Atlantic ocen I freaked out and realized the magnitude of my decision. I was moving to a 3rd world country so unfamiliar to me.
Extreme culture shock followed!! Ouch!
Well, my Egyptian family is pretty American. I get along well with my cousins.. or at least most of them.
With my aunts and uncles: we do not see eye to eye on a lot of things.. but they respect individuality somehow so they are ok letting me be me.
I have an uncle who I do not get along with at all. He has a bad temper and does not respect individuality at all.
My grandmother does not understand me, but she is a grandmother.. so somehow we get along.
The rest of my Egyptian family does not understand me, and I don't understand them.
I actually avoid my family as much as I can. I like them a lot more in small doses...
You know Nora....next time my niece comes to Egypt from Canada, I'll have to get you guys to meet somehow. You are living the same lives. Her parents are divorced and she comes every summer......she's between both worlds as well. And she's 18! I'll have to let you know when she comes back.....
I enjoy your blog, btw!
Safa:
Thank you so much...
I would love to meet her. Being alone and confused is horrible.. maybe I could at least talk and someone would get what I am saying...
I just read your blog. I am speechless. You have been through a lot.. and you are strong. I was humbled by your strength...
Wow. You make me feel how easy I've had it!! Power to you!
Juka,
Thanks...
I am sometimes don't believe this is actually my life...
Sometimes it seems too much like a movie... :o)
Wow! Although the experience is, for sure, not an easy one, I think you are one of the lucky ones. You were fortunate enough to be exposed to different cultures and choose what you were comfortable with. I respect that a lot!
Fesh,
I was lucky enough to choose a religion that I am comfortable with. At the same time I am unlucky in the sense that I have more room for confusion and have been exposed to things that confuse the hell out of me.
I guess in the end confusion is better than ignorance.
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