Mixed Marriages

Marriage is hard.. or so I hear. It is the attempted union of families, paradigms, lives, people, hearts, pasts, and so much more. This seams an impossible feat to pull off...
Failure is guaranted when you add to this equation the element of different cultures and different religions.... or that is how it seems it should be.
I cannot really see any mixed marriages that work. I only see people suffering from the pressures thrown on them by the differences. I only see people struggling so hard to try to meet in the middle. I only see people questioning whether love is in fact all it takes.
One of the few lasting mixed marriages I knew of is coming to an end. It is coming to a bitter end full of resentment and hatred stemming from the bottling up of emotions for years. Negative emotions felt because of how different the people were. Now it is a broken family full of confusion, pain, and hatred.
I have little hope for myself because being a product of a mixed marriage means that any marriage I attempt will in fact be a mixed marriage.
I have lived a unique life... and I think that I will never find someone who is similiar to myself. I do not think that I am willing to fight the fight required to make any marriage work.
I do not see it as being worth it anymore.
I only see the confusion and the pain....

An Egyptian shortcut...

Yesterday as I was leaving work I got a traffic report from a friend's driver. He said the road was hideous and that it took him an hour and a half to get to the school...
He said that the side going back was much worse!
So, we all decide to take a different route home. We called it a shortcut!
This "shortcut" was 30 km out of our way!
Sadly, this really was a shortcut and we got home faster than we normally do....

Only in Egypt does driving 30 km out of your way still define a shortcut!

Typically Egypt..

Yes, it is normal to see 2 pharohs on the back of a pickup!!!

:o)

This is another reason why I love driving in this country!

Traffic Deux...

Yesterday I make my daily drive from Heliopolis to Zamalek.
I have my ipod playing. I am singing along at the top of my lungs.
I am happy.
I am enjoying driving....

I drive up the on ramp to the 6th of October bridge... and I am blinded by the sea of red lights.
It felt like all 80 million Egyptians were on the bridge at the same moment...
The cars were not moving...

I curse.. I curse again at the top of my lungs....

And then I do what any Egyptian would do....

I reverse down the on ramp of the bridge. I back up all the way down the ramp and back onto Salah Salem Street.

I am in shock that I did that.

I am proud that I did that....

Today, I consider myself a true Egyptian driver!!!

Traffic...

Traffic is Egypt is one of the main evils that ruin my life.

It bothers me mainly because I do not understand it.

Egyptians are excellent drivers.... until there are choices.
Until there are intersections or exits or whatever.

These options fuck traffic up.
These options confuse people.
These options can hold the country at a stand still...

I have decided that when I am that important person who is in charge of organizing the traffic in this country I will rid us of lanes. I will not paint white lines on the streets. I will have cement fucking lane dividers!
I think that if the whole country were forced to drive in straight lines life would be great!!!

No options means no traffic!

Egypt this year is better than last year...

Egypt has been the last thing on my mind lately. I have not been analyzing why things are like that like I would last year.
This year I feel like I couldn't care less. I think I just ahve a lot on my mind lately.
I also think that this year things are better than last year. I am not being harrassed as much as last year. Cars rarely follow me to my building anymore. People don't touch me in the streets anymore.
I do not know why things have changed, but I am grateful. I have a lot to deal with and I really don't think I could handle that on top of everything else.

I am still a teacher. I enjoy it. The school I am at this year is so much better than the one I was at last year. The parents of most of the kids are a lot better than last year. It is a refreshing thought to know that there are some good parents out there.
I still have a student whose parents seem to not care. She is so neglected it makes me want to cry. I guess the world over has parents who don't care. I guess that only one kid is better than the whole class like last year. I guess that I will always be hurt when I meet kids I feel are neglected. I guess I will always care.

Flying Egypt Air

A while back I promised an ex of mine that when something positive happened in Egypt I would write about it here. So, today I am finally able to honor that promise. Finally, something good happened!

I flew back from New York a few days ago. I was dreading the flight because I just had back surgery and also because every interaction I had with Egypt Air customer service led me to one conclusion; Egypt Air has a strict "idoits only" hiring criteria. I had horrible imagies of what the flight will be like.
So, very uneagerly I arrive at JFK. I get in line to check in. This line is long. The longest line I have ever been in at an airport. I am in line for about 2 hours. Of course when I get to the counter he wants to charge me a penalty for changing my ticket. (Note: Egypt Air already over charged me for changing my ticket). It takes a while but I convince them I paid and they hand over the boarding pass without recharging me.
I spend about another hour in lines to pass the security checks.
So, by now I have been in lines for 3 hours. I was in a car for 2 hours before that and I did not sleep well the night before.
By the time I get on the plane I am dying. The pain was horrible.
One of the flight attendants asked me what was wrong. When i told him my story he told em to ask him if I need anything. He walked away. ABout 20 minutes later he comes back and asks me to move to the middle of the plane because he has rearranged some passengers to give me 4 free chairs so that I can lay down instead of sitting for the 12 hours.
I was grateful, touched, and impressed.
This man decided to help me even though I did not ask him. He was very caring and compassionate.
I do not think I would have been able to handle the flight had he not done so.
The passengers around me were also very kind and helpful. Everyone kept asking me if I needed anything. Everyone was so willing to try to make my life a little easier.
I was really surprised and touched by everything that they did.

So, I said before that I will not fly Egypt Air again.. but I think I changed my mind.

The flight attendants and the passengers definitely made my flight perfect...

Thank you

Egypt Air

I have been with my family in the states for a while. That is why I had nothing to write here. I was not dealing or interacting with Egyptians.. and therefore I had nothing to bitch about... but that was before I had to call Egypt Air.
I used to actually like the airline. That was until I had to deal with their customer service!
So, I call to change the date of my departure. I was supposed to leave August 7th, but I couldn't because I had back surgery. I thought it was a pretty easy concept to change the date of departure. all you have to do is find a seat and tell me how much I have to pay...
Every person that I spoke to told me a different amount of money that I had to pay. Everybody told me different days that I could leave on....
When I asked the "supposed" manager why everyone is telling me something different... her reply was.... why are you calling and asking different people? So, I was now the bitch because I spoke to more than one person.
I asked her why they do not have standard procedures and standard information. She said that they do. I guess she does not understand that if they really did have anything standard that I would have heard the same information from each representative that I spoke to.
I told her that I want to talk to the manager to understand why everybody is pulling useless bullshit information out of their asses!!
She told me that I could not talk to the manager because every manager in the Egypt Air headquarters was out for the day. (hmmm, for some reason I don't really believe that one)!
so, she told me how much the fine was and found an empty seat on the day that I wanted to leave.
I told her to go ahead and charge the amount she told me to my credit card....

I hang up and I feel relieved that I finally handled my ticket....

Then I got the receipt in my e-mail.....

The bitch charged me double what we agreed on!!!!

I do not know how a company could charge more than what we agreed on. It makes me wonder what kind of bullshit practices and bullshit employees they have working at the New York office of Egypt Air!

(Sadly, all the employees that I spoke to were Egyptians...)

Now, I do not know whether I should call the office again and bitch about being charged more than what they told me I have to pay.. or if I should just accept it and not deal with them again.

Note to self: Never fly on Egypt Air again!

Homesickness...

As much as I bitch about living in Egypt... I miss it!
I wish I were there now...

Sex and Society II

The post about sex and views about sex sparked quite a few questions...
So, answer them if you can and if you want...

You can find the questions on my other blog...

Mysterious third option..!

I was at City Stars a few days ago. Everything was normal..
I got in my car and I was trying to find the exit in the parking garage.

I was driving around following the green arrows and the following conversation took place...

The parking attendant used sign language to ask if I was looking for a parking spot.
I shook my head no...
The same parking attendant used sign language to ask me if I was looking for an exit.

I am wondering why he asked that..
If I am not parking, isn't it a given that I am leaving.
Is there a third option that I am not aware of....

Sex and Society...

Today I was thinking about sex, sexuality, making love, definitions of what is accepted in society, what is actually done in society...
Most people think that I am very sexually experienced.
Some people think that I have sexual experience.
Barely anyone thinks that I am as sexually inexperienced as I really am.
Why?
Is it because the preconceived notions that Americans are whores?
Most likely.
Is it because I am comfortable discussing issues relating to sex and sexuality?
Probably.
Is it because I am a sex crazed animal?
I doubt it.
I know a lot of people a lot more experienced than I am. Not a lot of people would believe it because they cover it up so well.
They act exactly how society would like them to act..
well, they do when people are looking that is.

In Egypt I have met more women who sleep with their boyfriends in return for a lot of nice, fun, expensive outings.
Are they whores?
Some yes, some no.
Do they fit the definition of prostitutes?
To me they do.
I guess it it more of a barter system. They satisfy the man's fantasies and sexual desire and in return the man takes them out and pays for everything...

I hate the fact that these women are probably looked upon in a more favorable light than I am in this society.

I hate that in this society I am labelled as a whore by more people than I can count because I am not as good at lying, being two faced, or whatever else you want to call it.

I hate the fact that men can say that they have slept with me because their ego could not deal with the fact that the "American whore" refused them.

I hate the fact that society is more inclined to believe them because they are men, and because I was raised abroad!
Just because I would salute the stars and stripes growing up does not mean that I will lay down with every man!!

On a semi-related topic... why is this country all about sex and virginity anyway?
Men are out trying to sleep with everything that walks upright all the time. Some women are doing the same.
These men will rarely ever marry a women who is not a virgin.
These women will deny anything and everything.
It is all about sex and virginity!
So, everybody cares about virginity. It is such a big deal here.

I do think that virginity is a big deal. Most likely for reasons completely different than the majority of the population.

Why do men care about virginity so much? I really do not get their reasonings. I have asked some of my close male friends before. None of their reasons ever made sense to me. It doesn't matter if they make sense to me or not..
but do they make sense to anyone?

Is it their fear of comparison?
Is it that they doubt their sexual ability to the point that they would want to make sure that the women in their lives are ignorant and oblivious?
I have heard that Egyptian men are selfish and are only concerned with themselves reaching orgasm. They could care less if the woman they are with enjoyed it or not.
I have heard from men that Egyptian women are really bad in bed also. That they scream and make a lot more noise than what they should. In other words, they are faking their enjoyment to please the man.
Why do women do that? Why do they accept that? Do these women not realize how degrading that should be?
So, if women are bad in bed.. and men are bad in bed... why does the whole country think about sex so much.

With the amount of thought that people put into sex and sexual issues you would think that at least they had a good reputation internationally.
So, if they are so horrible.. why do men gather around and talk about their latest conquests?Why do women question their newly married friends incessantly?
Is their nothing better to talk or think about?

If everybody is thinking about it, the majority are talking about it, and quite a few are doing it.. why is it not accepted in this society?

Haves, Have Enoughs, and the Have Nots!

Today I saw a lot of extremely poor people. I saw them everywhere. In all parts of the city.
A lot of them were smiling.

I appreciate these people so much. They make a life out of almost nothing, and they embrace their lives.
They are not bitter.
They are happy...

They are happy being a "have-not" in the midst of so many "haves"! I guess I always was a "have enough" and that makes it easy for me to appreciate these people.
I was close enough to both realities.. and I can appreciate both, because I have been both.

I wish all people can find this kind of hapiness...
Accept your life.. embrace your life!

A complete lack of respect...

A complete lack of respect...

I have realized that that is one of the things that bothers me most here.

First of all, Egypt seems to be a very individualistic society. Everybody is looking out for himself. I grew up in a collective society. The people looked out for themselves, but also for the group.

I see it here in simple things like people being all the way in the right lane and stop traffic behind them to make the u-turn on the left side.
I see it at the grocery store when people cut into the lines.
I see it at governmental buildings where people cannot stand in a line and they are all screaming and pushing.

If people had a bit more respect I think these things would run smoothly.. or at least smoother.

People have a lack of respect for personal space. They have a lack of respect for privacy. They have a lack of respect for me.

I think the biggest lesson I wish I could teach people here would be how to respect . How to respect each other, how to respect order and rules, and how to respect themselves.

Getting to know me.. and my confusion!

This post is just a response to a comment on my last post.
Cairogal asked me 3 questions. These questions are not as easy to answer as they should be. The answers to the questions are just a small glance into the myriad reasons I am so confused.

Nora, I hope you don't mind my asking: Did you spend most of your childhood in the US or Egypt? How did your parents reconcile western traditions (like dating) w/ Egyptian traditions? How did it affect your religious devotion having parent from the west, and presumably from a Christian upbringing?

I grew up in the states. I only came 2 times. I came for about 2 months when I was 4 years old, and again for 6 months when I was 8. When I was 17 I moved here and since then I have been living between the two countries.
My parents got divorced when I was 9. After the divorce each parent lived according to their culture and religion. I was somewhere in the middle. I was learning Quran and going to Bible study. I think each parent wanted to educate us about their religion. Each parent wanted us to follow their religion.
It was confusing, and as a result I am confused to this day. I do not know enough about either religion.
I feel comfortable inside myself towards Islam, and that is why I chose that religion. I do not know much though.. and that scares me. I am scared to try to learn more.. because I do not know what the valid sources are and I do not understand the Quran. So, I try to read the books I feel comfortable with. I refuse to let anyone talk to me about religion though. People confuse me, and they really try to force their opinion on me.
About the traditions, I lived with my mom after my parents were divorced. I moved out when I was 17 and came here. My whole life I was a lot more American than Egyptian. I actually knew nothing about Egypt. I knew nothing about this half of my family. I did not even know my dad very well.
So, I guess since my parents were divorced we were living both cultures and somehow religions... and when we got older we decided on what we felt was right and went with it.
In my life the American/Catholic influence was much larger while I was growing up.

Dual-National

A friend of mine told me that I have changed. I am a different person than the person they knew a while ago.
This friend told me that I am a lot more American than I was before.. but at the same time I am a lot more Egyptian too.
I do not know how that can be, but I think it is true.
The American and Egyptian parts of me are equal. There is no major part nor minor part.
They are equal.. but they are not only half of me. They are me and I am them. At the same time, I am not them, I am different.
Somehow my whole is more than 100%

This makes no sense, but somehow it does make sense to me.
I guess this is the irony of being a dual-national. You belong to both, you love both, you are both.... and at the same time you are neither.

Why?

Today on my way home the man driving the car next to me was completely oblivious to the world. He was in his own little world. He was comfortable.
He had his whole finger up his nose and he was excavating!
It was disgusting. It was disturbing!!
Why do people do that?

Why do people pick their noses while they drive?
Why do men pee on the streets? And why do they pick the busiest streets?

Another freak on the streets....

It happened again...
I am getting sick of the men in this country.A man followed me home. He followed me from Maadi to Heliopolis. He kept bringing his car next to mine to try to talk to me. I kept ignoring him. I know I should not have gone home. I know I should have tried to "lose" him. I know I should have gone back to the "amazing guy" and let him protect me... but I was sick. I could not even drive. I was hoping to make it home before I felt worse. I thought the man following me would get bored. I was wrong. He followed me home.
I parked in front of my building and go tout of my car. I don't know where he parked, but I know he was in front of my building as I got there. My building was dark. There was no one around.
The man asked me to talk to him. I acted like I didn't hear. My building was very dark. The doorman and security guards were no where to be found.
I have a dark building in front of me and a scary man behind me. I am scared. I do not know what to do.
We rented out the whole building except our apartment to a company. That means that at 10pm there is no one in that building but me. I am scared to go inside my deserted building because I am scared he will follow me.
The man calls out to me again. I ignore him once again.
He grabs my arm to get my attention. I am paralyzed. I scream for my doorman. Nothing! I yell at the man. I scream at him. I yell a lot. It was my fear talking, not me. I hve no idea what I said. I was paralyzed. I was petrified.
The security from another building came and the man ran. I was shaking. I started to cry. I started to walk into my building again. Each step was harder than the one before. Fear consumed me with each step I took into the darkness. Waiting for the elevator seemed like an eternity. Noises were amplified and they sent shivers down my spine.
I walk inside my apartment and for the first time in my life I lock the door behind me. I run to the bathroom and I start to cry. I hate feeling so scared. I hate being so weak.
I wash my face and compose myself. I need to be stronger than this. I am strnger than this.
I cannot let another freak on the streets of Cairo get to me. Last time this happened I wanted to run away. I do not want to run away!
I go to my room.. my phone is ringing. It is "the amazing guy". He was freaking out. I just wanted him to tell me that everything is ok. I just wanted him to comfort my fears. I needed him to tell me that normal men exist in this country. He could not do that.
He became biter with this country. He was in a shit mood because of this freak on the streets. I did not even tell him the whole story...
He hung up....
I was alone!

My abusive relationship....

I have been thinking about whether I want to stay here or not. I am wondering if I am ready to pack up my things and throw in the towel.
Am I?
If I leave now will I miss Egypt like I have missed it every other time I left?

I am bitter with this country.
Recently this country has been the reason that I was more bitter than I had been in a long time. It made me a different person. It made me a person I did not want to be.
I hated myself.. and I hated Egypt for making me that person.

I have cooled down recently. I am starting to get rid of some bitterness...
The weird thing is that I am scared to be not bitter. Scared of being disappointed with this country. Scared of falling in love again and being hurt... by Egypt.
Scared of returning to the bubble that I lived in before.. only to have it explode once again.

Vulnerability is one of my biggest fears.. and Egypt made me vulnerable!

I am in a twisted abusive relationship.
The first time that I am in a kick ass relationship with a kick ass incredible guy.. I get into a random abusive relationship with a country!! Go figure!

Does anyone get into abusive relationships with a whole nation?!?!?!?!

I cannot handle it anymore!!

I have received comments on my last post telling me that I should not be negative about Egypt on my blog because this will stop the foreigners/tourists from coming. So, anyone not 100% Egyptian please stop reading now!
Oh yeah, Egypt is a great place and I really think you should come....

Now, I will say that I love Egypt. I adore this country, This is the country that I do consider home.
This country is beating the shit out of me. Everyday I feel like I get the wind knocked out of me.

I cannot do it anymore.

I give up!
I decided that I have to get out. I cannot live here anymore.
I am leaving.
I am moving away from the home that I love so much.

I never wanted to be bitter. I fought so hard. I ignored so much. But in the end, I lost. Bitterness came and it conquered. It conquered and consumed me.

It is almost daily that a man makes an obscene comment to me. I am forced to witness an obscene geture. I am being stared at. I get touched, grabbed, and so much more....

That is it. I tried to not let it get to me. And I guess I did well for a long time.
But now I just give up. I cannot fight this anymore.

I cannot allow myself to become so numb to so much.
I cannot let people blame me because I am attacked in the streets.
I cannot be afraid going home because a car is following me and I live alone.
I cannot go home upset because a man made me feel cheap.
I cannot be out and feel afraid that someone will hit my car to stop me.
I cannot be afraid of every man as I walk down the streets.
I cannot be worried about my friends in taxi's because of what I have seen from taxi drivers.
I cannot act normal in the middle of so many not so normal events.

Well, I came, I tried, and I failed.
Congratulations Egyptian men!! You won...

Banking in Egypt SUCKS!!!

Banking in Egypt sucks!!!
I had another issue with the bank that I have been forced to become a customer of. The bank that my work has forced us into being fucked by!
Well, actually.. not another issue. The same issue again! No matter what I do they cannot and will not fix the issues.
They are a group of idoits and I hate them. I hate having to deal with them!
I was bitter... I told them. I told them that I think they are fucking idiots..
I told them that their system is horrible. That their customer service is evil.
I told them everything!
I also withdrew all my money today. They did not look at my passport. They had no problem with the fact that the signature I signed on the paper is not the signature they have in their file. Apparently, that does not matter at a bank anymore!!
I am not sure what I would need to take money from them.
I guess any upset women in a bank can just go get cash and leave!
I told her that.. I told her that they did not even look at my ID.. She did not even understand why I thought that that was not right.
She did tell me that the system will change... that it will be good soon!! I do not know if that was supposed to make me happy or what.
It just made me sad..

Chaos...

Chaos..
This is the only way to describe my day. I am wondering what the problem with organization in this country is. I seriously do not understand why people cannot follow a system. I do not know why people cannot have a reason and rhyme to what they do.
Are we as a society not capable of thinking things through?
Is thinking in advance impossible?
I am also wondering why we do not value time. Time is the one thing that is needed to make anything possible. Does nobody understand the concept of time is money?
I spent 8 hours in the Cairo stadium today. I spent 8 hours babysitting 13 freaking children. I spent 8 hours doing absolutely nothing.
I spent 8 hours of my life being less useful than the chair I am sitting on now!
I spent 8 hours wishing I had a spoon to stab myself with. Only a spoon would do.. it had to be slow and painful. It had to be equal to what my day was like.
Slow and painful, that is another way to describe my day.

Woman hitters

At work recently there was some drama because one of the students ran away from home. She was a high school student. I guess that makes her about 16. She ran away because her father was beating her. She was black, blue, and swollen... She was desperate.
News spread quickly at work.
The scary part was that most people blamed the girl. They all thought she was selfish for running away. Selfish for getting out of the house that was leaving her black and blue. Getting away from the man she hated so much because he left scars.. emotional and physical ones.
Why is a desperate child to be blamed? Why did people not think the father was the ass for doing this to his daughter? Why didn't people acknowledge that the father is a messed up asshole???

I was talking with one of my coworkers about the girl. She said the girl was selfish. I personally feel that a man should never hit a woman under any circumstances. So, I was passionately defending her. I was calling the father every synonym for asshole that my mind could conjour. I was talking about the "woman hitters" being fucked up demented freaks.
She broke down and cried. She poured her heart out about her husband beating her. She expressed her desperation because there is nothing seh can do. Spoke about her dreams of providing a stable household for her children. Spoke about a balanced life that she dreamt of, and now realizes she will never have.
She said that this is her life and she cannot change it, so she might as well just find a way to live it. To make it as bearable as possible.
My heart broke into a million little pieces. I hugged her and let her cry. I let her say the things she needed to get out.

I want to know what it is about men in Egypt that makes them think that hitting makes them a man? Why do they need to belittle a woman to feel manly? Why do they need to flaunt their strength and supposed power?
When will men here realize that being a man is not about how hard you can throw a punch. When will men realize that if they need to hit a woman they are hmm.. I seriously cannot think of a word to describe them.!!! Losers? Freaks? Weak? All of the above?
I guess what bothered me the most is her feeling of desperation. The fact that she thinks there is nothing she can do. The fact that she will just live this life.. this fucked up life that made her cry in the arms of an almost complete stranger.
I am worried that the women do not understand that the men are not supposed to hit them. That they do not need to stay in a relationship that is like that.
I wish they knew that they could leave...
I wish they knew that they deserve better....

Egyptian Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!

Today is Mother's Day here in Egypt. It is different than the Mother's Day I used to celebrate back home with my mom. I remember waking up on that Sunday morning and trying to be quiet as I ran around the house. My sister, brother, and I would try to surprise my mom with breakfast in bed. I think that every year it was eggs, toast, and coffee. I am sure that all 3 tasted disgusting. I am sure that my mother knew what we were doing.. but every year she would act like it tasted good and she would act like she was surprised.
We would sit and wait for the reaction. Sit and wait to see if she liked the food and if she was surprised. We would give her whatever hand made card we had created before. We would give her something we created at school.
It was always a special day for us and my mom.....
It was Mother's Day.

Here it was a bit different. Here everybody was giving everybody presents. Everybody was wishing each other a Happy Mother's Day. It was cute. It made people happy.. but I just felt that it took away from that feeling that it was a special day shared between mothers and their children.
A lot of my students got me presents and made cards. I got flowers too...
I loved it. I loved being special to my students.
I feel that I do not deserve it though. I wish that they would keep it something special between them and their mothers...
I wish that they would grow up with these memories that I have. These memories of a day that meant something to them and to their moms....

Never a dull moment at the grocery store!

Another photo expose of a very normal experience...
grocery shopping!!!

The joys of everyday life!!!


Wheatables was offering a free DVD. The box was open and there was no DVD inside... but maybe whoever opened the box should have read that it was a MAIL IN OFFER!!!!



Wrigley's has a new line of gum out. Apparently you must hold a professional degree to purchase this gum!!
(What the hell is professional gum?!?!?!)

I do not know about you... but "cling film" is not something I want touching my food!!! (That is such an ugly name!!)

What is this "special" drink? Hehehehhe, come here my friend.. drink this special drink!

Seperating Italian Dressing is an excellent name. It makes me just want to run out and buy it!!

I am wondering who the marketing genius behind this ad was....
I'm thinking the tag line should be "Always is a hard job!"

I can picture the meeting... "It should be dark, mellow colors.. and always is laying there.. but wait! It is cold.. let's make sure to give Always a blanket... Ahh, PERFECT!!!!"

Next we have the Demitta food self sealing wrapping film...
First of all, I wonder if the company understands what "self-sealing" means. I wanted to buy it and just watch it self seal my food... ;o)
"Mom, can you please pass me the "food self sealing wrapping film".. I somehow doubt that name will catch on!
Other than that.. film is such an ugly word to use!!!!

Kelloggs Fruit and Fibre cereal was offering a free pedometer with the cereal. Whoever got to the box first did not realize it is free when you BUY the cereal. The box was open and on the shelf... and there was no pedometer inside!!

Well, there will definitely be more.. Too many adventures to be had!!

On the streets of Cairo...

Most people know that I spend a lot of my time in my car. I am always on my way somewhere.. coming back from someplace. I do not like staying at home.
When you spend so much time in a car you need to find ways of amusing yourself...
I have.
One of my favorite things to do while driving is spot the garbage trucks. I do not know what this sick obsession is.. it is extremely weird.. even according to my own standards.
I marvel at the ability of the truck owners to pack them so high with garbage. I am amazed....
Most of the time I really cannot believe or understand it. These trucks defy the laws of gravity.. no they defy all laws of physics.



The garbage was piled almost 3 times as high as the truck! It was tied down with one rope.


A million little pieces, tied with little pieces of string, and nothing was blowing away!

I am wondering how they got it up so high before they actually tied it down...

Once again they got it up so high.. I love how you can see the width and and height in this pic. I swear packing garbage is an art that Egyptians have mastered.

Driving off into the sunset.. (Actually, it was a sunrise.. but sunsets are so much more romantic)

Egyptian parents!!

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs. The weird thing about parenting is that the job is its own reward.
I deal with parents on a daily basis. Most of the time I am somewhere between shocked and appalled! I am sad to say that most of the time I get the feeling that parents do not give a shit about the well being of their child.
I am probably not aware of all the things that the parents do for their kids, but I know that I see enough of what they don't do to wonder about the future of these kids.
I am sure that the definition and the role of the parent changes with every culture... but why? How come being a good parent does not have a universal definition? Isn't it all about making this little child into the best that he/she can be. Isn't it about making this child feel safe and protected?
Today I went on a field trip with my class. We went to this place where the kids just spend the day playing, creating, and making a mess! It was perfect. The kids loved it. A couple of other classes joined us on this trip. One of the girls in the other classes was swinging and the swing broke. She fell and smashed her nose on a wooden bench. She hit the bench and the blood just started gushing. She lost a lot of blood. She was going between conscious and unconscious. She was scared. We rushed her off to the hospital as fast as we could. While she was on her way to the hospital we phoned her parents.
Her mother did not come and just asked us to send her home on the school bus like usual. This was about 4 hours before school ended.
I am just wondering what that mother was doing that was more important than being with her hurt and scared child. I am wondering what her first priority is. I am wondering why she is allowed to be a mother....
I am wondering what this girls self esteem is like.. if you feel you cannot get the love of your own mother do you feel like you will ever have anyone love you? Will she grow up throwing herself at anyone who shows any kind of love? Will she ever know how to love herself?
I think that if we want a productive society we need to teach parents how to do their most important job..... loving their children!

Why this blog?

I was recently asked why I have this blog... why have the two?
Well, these posts are mainly about what I hate about life here in Egypt. They depress me. I guess it is my not so secret way of letting it all out. The thing is that I don't want these posts to be on my blog, I don't want them between all the nice things that happen.
I love Egypt and the fact that there is so much that has started to depress me is not cool. I just want to kinda keep it isolated and away from me.
This way, if I ever look back at my blog I am not reminded of the bitterness.
Most of the stuff here is stuff that I am more than willing to forget. I like being happy.. and I am more than willing to keep the depressing shit away from me....

Recent Happenings at Work....

Recent things happening at work:

1. a knife fight started by a 4th grader
2. a high school senior came and asked for one of my 3rd grade students. He started hitting him in the hall way.
3. I caught one of the respectable staff having an affair at work
4. respectable staff member now spreading viscious rumors
5. "gramps" is looking down my friend's shirt
6. my students are looking down my shirt
7. a million bullshit meetings a day... they are a waste of time and accomplish nothing

I am sad to say that all that happened today (except number 3 which happened last week).

I think I need to write a book... or a script for a soap opera.... nobody can make up shit like this!

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives!

Think about it, damn it!!!

I have noticed a trend...
Everytime I meet a person in Egypt that is a little bit different, that thinks about things a bit more than normal. That does not just take information in and spew it out later in conversation. The kind of person that filters what goes in, thinks about it, refines it, possibly discards it if it makes no sense..
I always assume that these people are not Egyptian. Or at least that these people have not been brought up in Egypt.
I feel that anyone who thinks or is logical cannot be a product of education and life in Egypt.
This is a sad realization.. and I do not know how to change it....
I wish I felt that Egyptians spent more time thinking instead of spewing!
I wish that thoughts and conversation were logical...
I wish that people would stop blindly quoting people and things...
I wish people would just think and analyze things before they spoke!!

The "Wagab" Scale !

In life there are things that we have to do. Things, that you will not do unless you feel pressure or force...Here, in Egypt, we call these things "wagab".Many things fall into the "wagab" category. Things like; attending funerals, visiting people in the hospital, having lunch with some members of your family, etc, etc...
All the things that you should do.. but you do not particularily enjoy doing.
I hate this wagab concept. I hate doing something that I do not want to. I hate feeling that I am being controlled by something or someone. So, I spend a lot of time trying to figure out ways of getting out of the less important "wagab"...
Now, I am not a bitch. I will visit people in the hospital. I will happily do it because I feel that maybe somehow I will make that person feel better. that I might be able to make this perrson laugh or something and therefore make it a bit better.. I do not think that I am forced to be there.
There are things like having lunch with my family that I am forced to do. I get annoyed with my cousins, I never enjoy it because I am pressured to be there, I am always attacked for thinking differently.. and when I go there it is impossible to leave. These are the "wagab" that I plan and scheme of getting out of. I have found a way that works.
So.. I will share my finding with you.
I noticed that the things that are considered "wagab" are varied in importance. Attending funereals are very important. Visiting the sick in a hospital is also very important, almost directly following the funeral attendance. Visiting a sick person at home would follow that. Family events follow far behind that. Visitng people after their wedding or honeymoon follows somewhere near there.
So, you can put them on a scale.
You check your sccale and see where the "wagab" that you must perform is located. Now, the only way to get out of doing this wagab is by having another "wagab" event which ranks higher on the scale than the one you are performing.
So, let's say I am invited to a family lunch today. I see it ranks midway on my "wagab" scale. I just choose anything ranking higher. I call my uncle and tell him that I might not be able to make lunch because I have to visit a friend in the hospital.
And I am out of it.. and there are no hard feelings. Now, to get out of feeling that you are lying.. you can pass by a hospital, maybe go in and buy Panadol from the pharmacy inside and you have just visited a hospital! ;o)
You have just cheated the system, the "wagab" system!

The water is back!

Water is back to the inhabitants of Maadi.
I feel bad for them. the whole community was without water for 2 days.
No water was running anywhere...
No showers, no cooking, no cleaning, no flushing toilets... in Maadi.
I cannot believe that that happened.
I was thinking about how that would have been a national disaster in the United States. The national guard would have been in there with water..
Sometimes I am surprised at how much the Egyptian population has to endure. Surprised about how after dealing with all this shit.. they still like to laugh, they still try to enjoy life...
I am sad for them and happy because of them....

My mission to the bank....

Today I had to leave work early and go figure out what is wrong with the bank. My work forced us to get accounts at one of the most ghetto banks in Egypt. Even the bank logo is wrong!! It seriously looks like a man being held up...


So, this bank has very few branches in Egypt. The ATM machines are few and when you find one it is most likely out of order. In the off chance that it is working it never has cash in it. Now.. I thought that was the end of the problems with this bank.. but no.... I tried to withdraw money from my account and it was not working. Somehow the ATM card is not working...

I go into one of the offices and they spend about 10 minutes trying to solve a problem I do not have. Next, they spend about 15 minutes trying to find my account number. They are telling me that there is no account with my name.. eventhough I am showing him my ATM from the bank with my name on it. After they find the account and I try to withdraw my money we have another problem. They spend 45 minutes trying to solve the problem..

THe problem was the fact that I did not sign my full name on the withdrawal slip. I signed my first name only. So, when I ask what is wrong they tell me that it is not my signiture. .. So I resign the paper this time I sign my last name also.

The part that pisses me off is that my signature is actually my first name only... the bank forced me to sign my last name. Well, the guy at my work who made me get this account....

So, 30 minutes pass and I ask what the problem is.. he tells me once again that this is not my signature...

I have shown this man 1 passport, 2 drivers licenses, 1 ID card and 2 bank cards... most have my picture and signature on them... All that is nothing to prove my identity... He doubts that I am Nora because the "R" in my name looks different than the one they have...

Aghhhh!!!

I know that it is good to follow a system, but come on!!! The funny thing is that noone from the bank actually saw me sign the application for the account. There is no way for the bank to be positive that the signature they have is actually my real signature. They guy from wor that made us get the account could very well have been the one to sign the papers...

So, I have learned from this incident that it does not matter how many forms of governmental ID I have with me, all that matters is the "R" in my name...

Because you know I could have created all those fake documents.. but there is no way I could forge that "R"!!!

Governmental adventures....

I like adventures. I like doing random things. I like finding creative ways of solving problems. Where can I get all that and so much more?
At any governmental building in Egypt....
The summary of my most recent adventure....
I am probably the one crazy person who does not hate doing anything related to governmental paperwork. I am the crazy girl who willingly offers to help you get you shit done at the "ahwal al madanaya" or the "mogamma". I actually enjoy doing these things.
I am sure that I am somehow crazy.. but I think I also enjoy seeing how you can always get things done.
You can jump over any roadblock you face....
Yesterday, I woke up early, ran some errands and then picked my friend up to get her anything that says she is Egyptian.
She has a weird problem.. she cannot get a tourist visa because she is Egyptian, but at the same time she cannot gwet anything issued saying that she is an Egyptian. She needs her father's Egyptian birth certificate to prove that she is Egyptian, but they will not give her her father's Egyptian birth certificate because she has nothing with his name on it saying that he is her father.. except for her foreign Canadian birth certificate.. but for some reason that is not enough....
So, she is in a catch 22 from hell....
Our work has tried to solve this for her so that she is not here illegally and they failed...
I, of course, offer my assistance....
We run around at the "ahwal el madanaya" (civil affairs".. and they are useless.. they send us off to mogamma and tell us a million different things to do. We get to mogamma and we find out that everything we were told at the civil affairs place is wrong..
We sit in the office of the guy with the 3 stars and eagle (the important guy) and we waste time and he is trying to help us and trying to find her father's file.. after a while he says it is in some other archive place and it will come tomorrow...
He tells us to not waste time and to go to the Dokki police station... He says that there they will print out her father's birth certificate (even though they should not give it to her)...
So, we head for the police station... I will never be able to describe that experience fully. It was a small room filled with a million smelly people. They were all loud. They were all bitter. For some reason they did not like us... They yelled at us. They yelled at anyone who spoke to us nicely. They yelled at anyone who wanted to help us. I was scared. I wanted to cry.. So, I run to the man in front of the computer and I tell him I am scared and I do not want to stand in line.. and I asked him to print the paper we needed. And he did it!!! (Playing vulnerable works!!!) He said he needs to do it because we are foreigners and he needs "to take care of us". I am sure the people that were yelling probably would not have liked knowing that we got our shit done before them all!!! ;o)
Well, we dash back to the mogamma... we run into the 3 star and eagle man's office. We catch him before he leaves.. He starts playing Um Kalthoum for us.. and explaining the songs to me... and he gets some guy to write out a paper saying
"That her father is Egyptian. He has not denounced his citizenship and neither has she, and there is no problem for her name to be registered in the civil affairs registery"!!!
I will not comment on the fact that he has a copy of her father's birth certificate in the computer that he could have looked at and printed. I will not comment on how stupid the wording of the document was. I will not comment on the fact that every step of the paperwork has to be done at a different building. Iwill not comment on how every document needs at least 3 stamps and a signiture to be anything. I will not comment on how nobody knew what they were talking about and how they all wasted our time...
I am not sure what I will comment on...
Well, my friend is halfway to being officially Egyptian.
Next Saturday, ahwal al madanaya.. bright and early!!!!

Penises and potato peelers

I have come to realize that in Egypt you are born with either a penis or a potato peeler.

Oh how I envy those of you with penises... you have it all. You are of value. You are allowed to be ambitious. You are allowed to think. You know everything. You are trusted. You can speak your mind. You are not a whore for being out after midnight.

I was born without a penis.. but I must have lost my potato peeler.

My dilemma is that somewhere along the way I fucked up and crossed the boundaries. I have ambition. I speak my mind. I feel that I was created to be more than a uterus or a potato dicing machine. I know that I should achieve more in life than a couple of kids and dinner on the table.

Even though I don't have the potato peeler or the penis, I value myself.
I am more than a potential housewife.
I am more than a place for a man to sow his seed.

I do not have a penis but I want to be something in this world. I do not want the potato peeler either. I want to do more than just cook. I wish people would stop making me feel like I am crazy because I am living my life.
Why am I of little value in this society but a penis is so valuable? Why does my family and this society think that my life should wait until a penis, err groom, shows up to make me valuable?

Dear Egyptian Women,
You have so much more potential. Stop selling yourselves short. Your value is not linked to your ability to find a husband. You can do more than cook and clean. Dream, Strive, Live your lives, and Enjoy it all....

Obviously, I am a whore!?!?!

My Cinderella curfew has been reinstated, and with it comes the mad dash/drive home. I am always late.. and therefore always driving fast and somewhat recklessly (very recklessy according to my California driving manual).
So, today I was out and enjoying myself.. I decided to stay the few extra minutes and drive home a little faster.
I got in my car and turned the music up. I was singing and almost dancing as I was speeding my way home.
I know that guys in Egypt like girls who drive fast. I guess loud music and cigarettes does it for them also. As I drove home I had 2 cars following me. I try to just ignore these assholes when they do that.. but today they actually followed me to my house.. and parked their car behind me when I parked.
Luckily, I found the security guard in front of the building and asked him to deal with them because they were following me....
The guys did not like the fact that I ignored them and went in. So, like any respectable gentleman would do, they started calling me names. Basically I was a tease and some other things I am thankful that I did not understand.
Their theory is that I wanted them to follow me and that is why I was driving fast. They said I was "sha2aiya" and was trying to get their attention.
My theory is that they are freakin idiots! I think if I really wanted to get to know them I actually would have stopped and chatted. The fact that I was running away meant nothing. The fact that I was completely ignoring them meant that I was trying to get their attention!
The security guard was passive enough to give me the feeling that he agreed.
When I came up to bitch about this incident to my family they informed me that men in the street are justified for thinking that I am a whore and want them to follow me home because I was out after 12!!!!!!!!!
I am in shock because of the realization that my family is just as backward as a lot of the Egyptian population.
I am in shock because consensus is that I am a whore because I drive fast!
(A guy friend of mine explained that Egyptian men think that girls who drive fast learned how to drive that way because they spend a lot of time with guys which means they are whores)
So, I am just wondering if the problem is Egyptian guys or if all men are this fucking stupid?!?!?!
So.. congratulate me everybody... I drive fast, I listen to music, and OMIGOD I ignore men..

Obviously.....I am a whore!!

Egyptian cops are nice guys...

Today I was caught speeding.
The speed traps here are different from the states. We don't have the flashing lights in the rear view mirror. We don't get a ticket and have to go to court.
Here they have a guy/car whatever on the side of the road with the radar gun (I think it is called a radar gun.. whatever). He will check the speed of all the cars passing that point in the road. When a car is speeding he tells the other cops on the walkie talkie. These cops are a little bit down the road. They have the road blocked off and stop the cars as they pass. If you were not speeding you pass and if you were speeding they take away your drivers license. You get a slip of paper saying that your license was taken away. I think you can drive with this slip for like a week or two. You have to go to some police station/traffic police thing and pay your fine and get your license back. It is a big hassle...
Anyway, today I was on my way to meet a friend and I was speeding. The speed limit was 90 kmh (I think about 55 or 56 mph) and I was driving at 140 kmh (I think about 86 or 87 mph).
Yes, that is a huge freaking difference.
So, what happened? I talked my way out of it.. and I did not need to use cleavage or other "weapons"!
The police officer was older and I guess I am lucky that I have that old guy magnet thing...
I was just talking to the guy and giving my usual sarcastic stupid comments and he laughed... and he told me that he will not take my license so that I will know that cops in Egypt are nice guys...
I am not sure how I feel about that. I hate the system. I hate that you can get away with things like that. I am happy that I do not have to deal with the hassle of getting my license back...
I kinda wish that he did take my license away because I would have felt like something is happening the way it should... like there is a real system in place in some aspect of life in Egypt.

"But she is not Egyptian, maybe American"

Today I went to Starbucks to get my coffee in the morning.
I was still half asleep and my brain was not as active as it should be.
As I give the guy my card to pay for it I ask him to make sure he charges me only once. I tell him that last time they charged me 3 times for the coffee. (Yes, I paid 60 LE for the last coffee.. painful!)
I hate the fact that I need to remind the place to only charge me once... anyway.
Since I am still asleep I cannot even think enough to formulate sentences in Arabic. So I am talking in English.
After I tell the barista man to charge me once he walks to the man in the dress shirt.. (the important guy). I hear him telling him about being charged more than once.. and the he tells him "but she is not Egyptian, maybe American"
Then Mr. Barista Man comes over and tells me that Starbucks is sorry that I was overcharged and that this coffee is on the house.
I don't know if I am being fair.. but I think the free coffee had more to do with the fact that I am not Egyptian than the fact that I was charged 3 times for my last coffee.
If I were completely Egyptian would I have gotten a free coffee? Would they have trusted me about that? Or would they have thought that "the Egyptian" was trying to get free coffee....?
How can the people be so predijuiced towards the nationals of the country? How can they be racist against themselves?
I used to love this... I used to love being trusted, respected, listened to because I am American... but now it only saddens me more about this country.
Is this the result of Egyptians not being trustworthy and trying to scam anyone... or are Egyptians no-longer trustworthy and trying to scam anyone because of how they are treated in their own country.

Note:
I apologize to all the trustworthy Egyptians out there.. I know you exist.. I just have not been running into you for awhile... please tell me where you hold your weekly meetings because I really need to see the good side of Egypt and deal with the good, normal Egyptians....

State of the world.. my part of the world

I am sitting here at home contemplating the state of the world today. Actually the current state of Egypt. My part of the world.
It saddens me to see how horrible Egypt and Egyptians have become. I know that this partially stems from the fact that I have had my fill and more of harrassment. I have heard too many stories of harrassment in Egypt. I have been cheated by too many people here. I have been taken advantage of and for granted by too many Egyptian men.
I am over the novelty of taking the corruption of the Egyptian government to my advantage. I do not think it is a fun game anymore.
I miss the days of the night in shining armor coming to my rescue. Independence is great. Rescuing myself is great.... but the knowledge that Egyptian men were great is something I miss.
I miss feeling safe.
I feel sad that the morals, values, and ethics of Egyptians have gown down the drain.
I think I see this clearly at work.
I teach... I spend my day with children who are figuring out life and the world. I feel that people are generally good. I feel that kids are always innocent at first. Evil is something they learn. When they are evil I know that they have learned it from somewhere... most times it is from home. They come to school with the ideas, behaviors, attitudes that they see at home.
When these kids take advantage of eachother, steal from one another, or beat the crap out of eachother to solve a problem... I know that this is what they are getting from their home.
The fact that this does not alarm the school or their parents makes me feel like Egypt has a dim future.
The fact that nobody is trying to save these kids and teach them the right values breaks my heart.
I try.. I try to teach them accountability, ways of solving problems, less vulgar ways of expressing themselves. I try to teach them to be good. Sometimes it feels like I am fighting a losing battle. Right now I do not feel strong enough to fight.. and not motivated enough to convince myself that this battle will change them.
What happened to the good people? What happened to the morals and values of the population?
I know that life in Egypt is hard. I know that many Egyptians do not see a bright future ahead. I know that at times Egyptians feel the government is blind to their struggles... but is that what has changed the population as a whole?
Then how do we explain the successful Egyptians that have no morals or values? I do not think the only problems Egyptians have come from the government?
I do not think that sexual frustration is reason for all the harrassment that happens.... because I think that there are sexually frustrated men out there that don't harrass women. I know there are a lot of sexually frustrated women out there that are not harrassing or molesting men.
I do not believe that money is the root of all evil... because harrassment and money don't come together. Men are not grabbing women in the street for money... they are doing it for other reasons that I cannot figure it out yet. Kids are beating eachother up at school.. and rarely is money the reason.
What is it that happened?
What is the root of this?
When will the population see the problem and actively try to change it?


The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.
Edmund Burke

Prostitute Importation... cure male sexual frustration in Egypt

What could solve Egypt's problems? Well... I am thinking prostitute importation....
If we bring some prostitutes here than men who wanted to have sex would be able to pay for it... women who did not want to have sex could say no easily because the man would be able to find other options. Women in the street would be safe from the attacks, cat calls, stares, and every other perverted thing we are dealing with daily. Women would no longer be called prostitutes just because they do not conform to the Islamic principals or ideals.... because now men would be cured of their ignorance and know exactly what a prostitute was.
The prostitutes would be making money. They would be spending money and would help the economy.
I am sure that the Egyptian government would also find a way of taxing this money and the governmental budgets would increase.....
The parents of Egyptian girls would no longer complain about their daughters coming home late and that this is not safe.. because now any horny Egyptian would have an outlet for venting his sexual frustration. He would no longer have to attack unsuspecting innocent girls/women/ children/ etc....
I think with some development this idea does have potential!!!

Why does honesty intimidate people in Egypt?

80 Million People in this country... and I think most of them are full of shit.
Growing up, I always taught to say please and thank you. I was taught to always tell the truth.
I guess a lot of the Egyptians missed that lesson.
I guess that somehow most people are full of shit... but the amount of shit differs maybe.
Here they really really lay it on thick.
Since coming here I think I found myself getting full of shit too. Its like a plague!
When I came to that realization I wanted to be honest at all costs....but that got me called a bitch.
I feel smothered by the lies, the hypocrisy, the fakeness of it all. Sometimes it is too much for me to handle.
Where does this stem from. Why is honesty bad here? Why are most people intimidated by honesty? People here cannot handle honesty!
So.. to help me make it through living in this country I created this blog; a place where I can escape it all and be honest. Where I can take a breath of fresh air.

Why does honesty intimidate?

Why are Egyptians so quick to judge?